"I Am a Liar in Love" (02/20/13)

The lyrics above are from a band my good friend Ben Walker is called The Rejectioneers. I've known Ben for a little over a year now but never really took the time to listen to his band's music...heck, I didn't even know what the band's name was for months. But, I stumbled upon the band's website and decided to check it out. I quickly downloaded the 25 EP. Needless to say, I was floored by everything I heard. 

• Starting out with "Murderers", the EP hits you from every angle. The opening track really has a great vibe to it that peaks your interest. 

• The next track "Get So Mad" has one of my favorite set of lyrics I've seen in a while in music. I'll let them sink in for you so you can make your own opinions, but these hit my soul deep down when I first read them: 

"I am a liar in love

I'm a fool with a nasty temper

I am a liar in love

I can't bridge the gap in between us

I am a liar in love

I'm a fool with a nasty temper"

• Next up is "Buried Treasure (Intermission)" which is pretty simple to recognize as a "filler" in between songs in the EP. But it's almost got a soul crossed with doo-wop kind of sound. It's pretty interesting to listen to while driving 

• "Wake Up".....man does Ben Walker know how to write. Heck, I don't know if he wrote that song but it hits my heart. As someone who is about to graduate college and "venture out into the real world" it's tough to digest everything. But, this song seems to really be something that I can connect with as I move onto the next stage of my life. 

• "When It's Over" is a track I had to listen to a few times to really enjoy. But, again, the harmonies of everyone in the band and the great rhythm make the song's strong lyrics more powerful. 

So, overall I have to say this is a great jump-off for me to enjoy more local music. Hopefully the band is able to put out more stuff soon as Columbia needs more honest music like this. 

Song of the Day: "Emergency Rooms"-Rejectioneers 

(Not on the EP, just go look it up yourself!) 

"Soooooo iccccccccccccyyyy" (01/25/13)

Holy crap, it's stupid cold outside! I think it's currently 30 degrees outside a little after 11:00am which is bananas for SC!! But, as I love to say all the time with everything in life, you gotta "Keep Calm and Chive On!" One of the biggest things for me is to just keep drinking my hot tea and enjoy this slow day at work since nothing is really going on.

Quick few updates:

• I've developed a Twitter handle for the Columbia Area Chivers which is awesome so we can start communicating with other Chive groups. This was done after seeing groups/handles from Chicago, Seattle, Miami, Atlanta....the list goes on and on! So, I'm determined to make Columbia and the Palmetto State a Chive state as much as I can. It's going to be tough but it's worth it
• Therapy is going great! I've been meeting with Rick and really hashing over working on ways to manage my stress and also what causes it. It's refreshing since he knows me and knows how I tick on things. Now only if we could just meet later in the morning so I could sleep
• Speaking of sleep, my poor body is getting used to working so much with classes when it comes to sleep. But, with new energy I'm getting assignments done early and not having to be so bogged down on the weekends which means I get to sleeeeeeeeeeeeep! Well, that and enjoy a beer with my dad
• On the topic of beer, I'll put up a post later about World Beer Festival as it deserves it's own post and not a paragraph here. It was all I had dreamed and hoped it would be and I got to see/meet a LOT of Chivers so that's awesome.

Now to sit at my desk and pretend I have work to do till 3pm. Luckily I work inside so I'm warm....and have thermal leggings on underneath....having friends who work for Under Armour has it's perks :)

Song of the Day: "Here's to Us"-Halestorm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaOnipj3yc0

(I love this version before Glee messed it up!)

Another Year Up in Smoke! (12/17/12)

Another year, another number getting bigger and bigger. Today, I turn 24 years old and for some reason feel much older than that. Well, it may be because I didn't get any sleep and the weather outside is absolutely dreary. But, like I love to do with a lot of things, I want to write a letter to 23 as I turn 24. I apologize ahead of time, as this will be real and honest.

"Dear 23,

You were a good year. I started you out drunk off my ass passed out on Todd's living room floor after attempting to drink nearly a handle (and succeeding) of rum while playing drinking games. My first birthday present from you was sharpie on my face thanks to Todd, Amanda, and Thomas. But you know what? I enjoyed it since it was done by some really awesome friends. My celebration of you at Ale House could have gone better, but I wasn't too upset at everything since I knew all of my friends were there.

But, 23, for relationships you were a royal douche and a half! While I had great roommates, I couldn't hold down a steady relationship to save my life. I kept trying too hard with a girl that could have been great and that blew up in my face twice, I was basically dating a girl and decided to sleep with another girl basically maintaining a relationship on the side, and then tried to play both girls at the same time. I'll touch more in a letter to 2012 later on, but 23 you didn't do anything good for me with the ladies. While I enjoyed the physical things, I never really got anything emotionally out of it, and paid for it.

23 one thing you were good for was that you gave me a reason to feel old. My body was being battered and bruised from working out and training so much. But, it felt good to know as I was getting older I was training even harder than I was at 22. I felt 'old' from the days I spent at the gym breaking my body down and working harder than the day before. But, at the end of it, I did that and felt even better the next time.

The summer brought multiple things....it brought heartbreak, new beginnings, more heartbreak, and all in some sick and demented cycle. I really feel like if I had taken steps back at each part I could avoid things better. But, alas, I didn't and paid the price with everything.

But, 23, you brought something into my life that has brought me many many emotions. I'll touch more with my 2012 letter post but Belle was the best thing to come into my life. That puppy, as frustrating as she is every day is worth it all in the end. It brought people close to my life that I would have never met, and also got me to meet some I wish I hadn't. At the end of the day, Belle is worth every penny....most pennies spent on replacing chewed up things around my room!

So, 23....you may have brought me some of the most horrendous heartbreak, cynical emotional torture, but in the end I can't thank you enough. At the tail end of you I now sit at my desk at a job I love and realize, 'That actually wasn't so bad, because I learned.' So, 24 will have a lot to live up to which I think it will and then some...

Sincerely,

S. Matt Eason "

Frost Sucks (12/14/12)

I'll leave it out there right now, but I really love yet hate the winter time. Some things I hate about winter:

• Scraping frost off my truck so I can drive to work
• How anytime not under my blanket I start to shiver like a small child 
• My dog being a wuss and not wanting to go outside (don't worry, I didn't either)
• How long it takes for the heat in my truck to kick on 100%

Silly things, but some things I love are:

• My assortment of "holidays" including my birthday, Christmas, and New Year's 
• Hot tea on the regular
• Coffee on coffee on coffee 
• Hoodies (you know me, you know I love these things)
• Beanies!! 

I swear, if I could just have a reason to wear a beanie all day every day I would. But, I really hate rocking a buzz cut that gets long as it starts to mat my hair.....man, I really sounded like a girl right there! But I really enjoy wearing them for some odd reason. 

Song of the Day: "Lego House"-Ed Sheeran

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4BLVznuWnU&list=SPE4B79DF3AC442F81&index=7

Slow Day is Slow (11/21/12)

Just another slow day at work in the office. I'm really starting to get rather bored sometimes with everything. It seems that at times it's not really worth me sitting around all day doing nothing....but, I am getting paid $10 an hour so can't complain can I?

Update on therapy so far. Rick (therapist) has told me to really work hard on prioritizing things in my life on a day to day basis. Using a system he called "IPA" (any beer drinker will know what I first thought when he told me this!) which stands for:

Identify
Prioritize
Actualize

So, with this system I am able to look the day/night before my day and recognize what I need to get done the next day, prioritize the tasks to be done, and then putting them down in a calendar. This shouldn't be too hard as long as I make it a habit.

Other news, I've really enjoyed the slow time at the office. Now, I know I complained earlier but it's given me time to really look at my life and do some pondering. That and I enjoy having my own office I can read a book in if needed!

Song of the Day: "1983"-Neon Trees
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j51LRUjIdnE&feature=relmfu

Back at it Again (11/05/12)

So, I recently was inspired by someone to really chronicle/journal my feelings. So, I decided to really put things down in a blog but keep the address hidden. If people find it, so be it. But, for the time being I'm not going to really advertise this blog. Heck, may even make another one but this one is meant for me and anyone who finds it or I share it with.

Lately I've been really struggling with depression and anxiety related issues. One of the major underlying causes behind this was that I really didn't manage my stress levels well and it came back to royally bite me in the ass. Because of this, I started to delve really deep down in my mental stature. I was becoming more of a suicide risk, not really pondering life as something to be kept but as something that could end along with my suffering. I was at the point where I could slit my wrists, bleed out, and think nothing of it.

But, that's the thing....Satan is one slippery little guy. Sorry if I offend any feminists here, but Satan is a guy. Anyway, Satan being the little trickster he is got down in the mud and held my face in it till I was choking on shame. When I was let up for air at all I kept thinking, "man I'm 'damaged goods' now....I'm worthless....what's the point?" I essentially became an empty shell. But, over the period of one night I didn't sleep, and made a remark to a teacher at the school I was student teaching at that I didn't know if it was worth it to keep going...with student teaching or life.

Lucky for me, red flags started FLYING. So, one thing led to another and I eventually was "asked" to medically withdraw. I then changed majors, started counseling, and am now really taking inventory of things in my life. I've learned that while I was still stressed and anxious I was someone that was not alone. It got better! Well, let me put some emphasis on this.....if you need help, please get it! If you need something or feel your grip slipping on everything talk to people. My biggest mistake was not letting people in. I regret that so so much. To my family and friends who stuck by me, thank you for that. You don't know how much that means to me.

I'll post again real real soon about a certain someone who has come into my life....eh, that may be on the other blog. But, I think God's really letting me open my heart up to her and really let her in through all of this. Crazy to think that she's into me with all of this recently going on. But, I'm kinda crazy about her, so it works out.

Song of the Day: "Kick it in the Sticks"-Brantley Gilbert
( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ve8sNTqrzCw )
Saw this dude on the CMA awards and decided to look up his music....rock music has revolutionized country....and I like it!